Tom Wood
2010
Tom Wood

Lyrics

I got a story to tell
So lend an ear
Once upon a time, my fart was such a crime I bet the world could hear
It come from my rear
It come from my rear
It come from my rear

When I fart...it's art
When my cheeks part
To let fly an anal dart
I know that it's a great place to start

When I poot, it's a hoot
It's like I gave not pootin' the boot
It's like a twenty-one bun salute
With my cheek lips playin' that anal flute

First I let a really big fuckin' flatus
Then my ass goes on a brief hiatus
Next it's back in fartin' style 'til the end
With each fart becomin' a lifelong friend

When I fart...it's art
When my cheeks part
To let fly an anal dart
I know that it's a great place to start

When I fart...it's art
When my cheeks part
To let fly an anal dart
I know that it's a great place to start

When I poot, it's a hoot
It's like I gave not pootin' the boot
It's like a twenty-one bun salute
With my cheek lips playin' that anal flute

First I let a really big fuckin' flatus
Then my ass goes on a brief hiatus
Next it's back in fartin' style 'til the end
With each fart becomin' a lifelong friend

When I fart...it's art
When my cheeks part
To let fly an anal dart
I know that it's a great place to start

Tom Wood
2010
Tom Wood

Lyrics

I'm a conformist
I'm a conformist, woo
I'm a conformist
I'm a conformist, hey
I'm a conformist
I'm a conformist, whoa
I'm a conformist
I'm a conformist

I'm a conformist
More tried than true
Don't take it out on me
I take it out on you
I'm a conformist
Insecure as I can be
You must be like me

I'm a conformist
I'm a conformist, whoa
I'm a conformist
I'm a conformist, hey
I'm a conformist
I'm a conformist, yeah
I'm a conformist
I'm a conformist

I'm a conformist
I don't decide
I'm just along for the ride
I'm a conformist
Insecure 'bout my Kenny G.
You must be like me

I'm a conformist
I'm a conformist, whoa
I'm a conformist
I'm a conformist, hey
I'm a conformist
I'm a conformist, whoa
I'm a conformist
I'm a conformist

You see you make me feel bad and you make me feel sad when you won't be like me
You see I've been had so don't you be like a cad you should just be like me
And then we both can be free

You see you make me feel bad and you make me feel sad when you won't be like me
You see I've been had so don't you be like a cad you should just be like me
And then we both can be free

I'm a conformist
More tried than true
Don't take it out on me
I take it out on you
I'm a conformist
Insecure as I can be
You must be like me

I'm a conformist
I'm a conformist, whoa
I'm a conformist
I'm a conformist, hey
I'm a conformist
I'm a conformist, yeah
I'm a conformist
I'm a conformist

I'm a conformist
I don't decide
I'm just along for the ride
I'm a conformist
Insecure 'bout my Kenny G.
You must be like me

I'm a conformist
I'm a conformist, whoa
I'm a conformist
I'm a conformist, hey
I'm a conformist
I'm a conformist, whoa
I'm a conformist
I'm a conformist

You see you make me feel bad and you make me feel sad when you won't be like me
You see I've been had so don't you be like a cad you should just be like me
And then we both can be free

Weirdo

04:21
Tom Wood
2010
Tom Wood

Lyrics

I may be low
I may be high
One thing I know
Until I die
I'm a weirdo
I'm a weirdo
I'm a weirdo

Sometimes I'm odd
Sometimes I freak
Sometimes my God
Like a bird sans beak
I'm a weirdo
I'm a weirdo
I'm a weirdo

I go to town
I get on down
I don't mess around
I clown around
I mean I wear the crown
Of sweet-assed renown
I don't wear no frown
In your love lake I drown

I may be low
I may be high
One thing I know
Until I die
I'm a weirdo
I'm a weirdo
I'm a weirdo

Sometimes I'm odd
Sometimes I freak
Sometimes my God
Like a bird sans beak
I'm a weirdo
I'm a weirdo
I'm a weirdo

I go to town
I get on down
I don't mess around
I clown around
I mean I wear the crown
Of sweet-assed renown
I don't wear no frown
In your love lake I drown

 

 

Tom Wood
2010
Tom Wood

Lyrics

Them they kill to satisfy their bloodlust
Us we kill 'cause evildoers are wrong
When we kill it's wonderful and just
When they kill it's bad as the day is long

I just cannot believe how they do their
Sanctimony, well, we've got that in spades
They are zealots worshipping religion
We are simply honest joes on crusades

It is so sad when Americans die
Necessity dictates that we kill them
And if we end up killing some poor guy
You can bet those boogie men sing no hymns

I don't believe they'll ever understand
We've cornered the market , the Promised Land

Tom Wood
2010
Tom Wood

Lyrics

It's a playground scene
Full of innocent mean
The black and white skins blending in with the green
It's a barnyard rout
In a shroud of doubt
I guess the hens are planning to peck their way out
It's a novel twist
I just can't resist
Maybe you're finally beginning to pick up on my gist

Bothersome burdensome black belt banter
Belted out by the blue brigade
Tethered to the totem of the terrible tailor
Trying to tarnish his timid trade
Picking up proud passions puzzle pieces
Plainly pardoning a part well-played
Finding fault with foul fools freshenin' 
All the fun our forefathers forbade

It's a top-notch class
And I pray to pass
But I lose my motivation when I got no gas
It's a real snowstorm
Far above the norm
And this thin coat of paint ain't gonna keep me warm
It's a piece of crap
Custom-built for a sap
The only thought that intrigues me is a long tall nap

Miracle match lights moonlit madness
Many mistakes left to be made
Sicophants'steamboat sailing southward
Sorrowful footsteps sadly splayed
Gurgling grateful godlike gone
Grassy gliding through the glade
Fluctuating freely from the full-fledged flavor to the fun our forefathers forbade

Okay

06:49
Tom Wood
2010
Tom Wood

Lyrics

A cute kid wades through t.v. muck while niggers shine his shoes
He doesn't really give a fuck about the daily news
He knows some day they'll find the way from darkness into light
He senses some may have to pay for that which is not right

A young man dons a coat and tie preparing for a lunch
As tears of joy well up in eyes that aim the sucker punch
He sees them in the mirror and he simply has to laugh
The sky gets so much clearer when the dreams are cut in half

Watch him scurry what's his hurry he's a worrywart
First he's fighting then indicting
He's in center court
Now he's juggling stop your struggling don't be a spoilsport
Hot as blazes he amazes lend him your support

A young girl kneels in tribute to a man who must exist
She knows she's got to give a hoot if she's to make the list
It's not hard to appease him she'll just match him word for word
And when she grows up she'll please him helping him round up the herd
A buxom beauty primps and preens while chatting with her ilk
Whose meeting of the minds yields scenes of princes drinking milk
She knows one's prob'ly waiting for her in a golden carriage
And after a little dating he will ask her hand in marriage

As she grew it became do it she's been quite well-taught
As she teaches the long reaches see how hard she fought
She's no present for a peasant she's not easily bought
Needles knitting seam so fitting
She is all we sought

At last the pretty pair converge in perfect harmony
Together they can boldly purge their sea to shining sea
At last we'll all be rid of petty thieves food stamps and pimps
Our action can defeat their words we'll show them we're no wimps
So come on all you happy people join the celebration
Go tie the flag round ev'ry steeple God has blessed this nation
With saviors such as these to urge us onward to our glory
And as our foes knock knees we'll reenact the bible story


No denying it's been trying but we played our part
Victory street can be so sweet let's forget the tart
Life got you treed well all you need is right inside Walmart
Still complaining bout our reigning don't you have a heart


 

Tom Wood
2010
Tom Wood

Lyrics

When life seems just like one big hurdle
And folks seem slower than a turtle
Try to remember this here saying
No matter what lame game they're playing

Don't let the bastards get you down

When people get petulant and dumb
And nobody wants to make you come
This lame game nobody will win it
Try to recall this age old tenet

Don't let the bastards get you down

Don't let the bastards get you down
Don't let the bastards get you down
Don't let the bastards get you down
Don't let the bastards get you down

Yeah life can seem like one big hurdle
Sure the milk of human kindness is on the curdle
But don't let the bastards get you down

Tom Wood
2010
Tom Wood

Lyrics

I been drafted in the drug war
I'm goin' down to the front lines
The whole thing's got me really sore
I'm gonna whip some junkie behinds
I been drafted in the drug war
So America no need to fear
Your good ole friend Sheriff Bubba is here (somebody give me a beer)

We gotta send 'em back to Africa
It's a problem we all must face
They're startin' to get a little uppity
We got to put 'em back into their place
You know sometimes it seems to me
That they've forgotten bout the master race
I guess they just don't know our God of grace

I been drafted in the drug war
I'm goin' down to the front lines
The whole thing's got me really sore
I'm gonna whip some junkie behinds
I been drafted in the drug war
So America no need to fear
Your good ole friend Sheriff Bubba is here (somebody give me a beer)

Tom Wood
2010
Tom Wood

Lyrics

I am adding lyrics to this tune even though I shouldn't be
I am adding lyrics to this tune don't know what's come over me
Why the fuck can't I just say what I have to say musically
Too late now the lyrics have been added to this tune already
There for all to see

Tom Wood
2010
Tom Wood

Lyrics

I said, "Take it on the chin, the fart you been smellin'"
I started to grin
And they started yellin'
Sayin', "Ooh your fart's a sin
We'll class you a felon"
Ever since then my butt's smelled like a melon

If you can't fart in the bathroom where can you fart
It's so unfair that it's up in the air
Like a god-damned jart
They bust your balls even if you're in the stalls
Believe you me that can smart
If you can't fart in the bathroom where can you fart